These are not mine I found them on another website. Credit to the owner of The Walkin' Mouth!
1. When buying a newspaper, do not expect to only pay “a penny a pape”.
2. Do not get excited about books or movies with names like “See Spot Run” or “The Kelly Gang”. They are not what you are thinking they are.
3. When reciting reports in history class, be sure to enunciate the word “ambassador” correctly, so you don’t offend.
4. Do not be afraid to wear out your VHS tape. Newsies can now be owned on DVD.
5. Know that “newsboy hats”, a.k.a. “Brooklyn hats” are in style. People who wear these should not be assumed Newsies fans.
6. When your friend or family member pulls out a garden house and threatens to ‘soak ya’, know that he is not threatening you with bodily harm. Just with water.
7. When going to see Batman Begins, do not yell anything about Jack Kelly being in the movie. You will be shunned, corrected, or looked upon with confusion.
8. Know that it is not a legitimate excuse when you beat up someone to say “I soaked ‘em for Crutchy”. People nowadays will not find it acceptable. You will most likely be facing negative consequences.
9. Resist the urge when you go across any type of bridge to hang over the edge and yell. This action is unusual and considered bothersome in today’s culture.
10. Just because a person is from New York, doesn’t mean they have to be from ‘Spot’s group’ or ‘Jack’s group’, or any other gang. In fact, newsies no longer exist. In New York, newspapers are now usually sold from little stands. So don’t even ask, and save yourself a lot of embarrassment.
Note: Do not call any of these stand newspaper sellers “dirty rotten scabbers”, or threaten to murder them. You could be arrested.
11. It’s good to know about child labor disputes from the turn-of-the-century. Bad to say you learned it all from watching Newsies.
12. When you are terribly bored, recite the script in your head. See if you can make it through the entire film.
Note: If you must recite aloud, it’s probably best to do this in a private place.
13. If your parents ask where you would like to go on vacation, do not say Santa Fe, New Mexico. You have to first consider that Western Jim won’t be there.
14. Know that they will never make a Newsies sequel. Accept that. The actors are all grown up now, or passed away. Note: Yes, those boys in the movie are actors. You will have to accept that too.
15. It’s okay to forget a line from King of New York every once in a while. You are only human. It happens. Just go watch the movie again, and all will quickly be well for you.
16. If you get your picture in the paper, don’t automatically assume you are famous, or can now get anything you desire. That’s not the way it works.
17. It’s not a sin for others to forget a line from King of New York. Do not have a hissy fit. After all, you sometimes do it too.
18. Come to terms with the fact you cannot own any of the newsboys. Go on eBay and buy the movie. If you already have the movie, buy some merchandise.
19. If you’re just not getting the fix you used to from the movie, buy the soundtrack. You’ll be dancing again in no time.
20. When you spy someone around you reading a newspaper, do not try to shove him aside and demand to know where your name or picture is. More than likely it is not there.
21. Do not buy an extra DVD as a backup in case something happens to the first. One is enough, I assure you.
22. It’s okay to faint during the infamous pelvic thrust in the song Carryin’ the Banner. It’s happened to many others before you, so take comfort in the fact you are not alone.
Note: This also applies to the infamous ‘Hair-in-Face-Spot Gate-Opening scene, Jack and Sara Make-Out Session scene, and the ‘Nevah Feah, Brooklyn Is Heah’ scene.
23. When in an overwhelming fight, don’t count on any gang, particularly those of Brooklyn, hopping in to save you.
24. When awoken in the mornings by a loved one, do not follow Jack’s example and slap them and call them ‘mad’. They will not laugh.
25. When in a store of any kind, and a person asks how they may help you, try to refrain from telling them “Don’t rush me, I’m prusing the moichendise.” You might be considered rude. They are not trying to get you out of their way so they might serve their next costumer. They just want to offer you assistance.
26. And finally… If a friend asks you for advice, do not refer him/her to this list unless he/she is indeed, a Newsies fan at the end of their rope with today’s un-Newsies-friendly culture.
2. Do not get excited about books or movies with names like “See Spot Run” or “The Kelly Gang”. They are not what you are thinking they are.
3. When reciting reports in history class, be sure to enunciate the word “ambassador” correctly, so you don’t offend.
4. Do not be afraid to wear out your VHS tape. Newsies can now be owned on DVD.
5. Know that “newsboy hats”, a.k.a. “Brooklyn hats” are in style. People who wear these should not be assumed Newsies fans.
6. When your friend or family member pulls out a garden house and threatens to ‘soak ya’, know that he is not threatening you with bodily harm. Just with water.
7. When going to see Batman Begins, do not yell anything about Jack Kelly being in the movie. You will be shunned, corrected, or looked upon with confusion.
8. Know that it is not a legitimate excuse when you beat up someone to say “I soaked ‘em for Crutchy”. People nowadays will not find it acceptable. You will most likely be facing negative consequences.
9. Resist the urge when you go across any type of bridge to hang over the edge and yell. This action is unusual and considered bothersome in today’s culture.
10. Just because a person is from New York, doesn’t mean they have to be from ‘Spot’s group’ or ‘Jack’s group’, or any other gang. In fact, newsies no longer exist. In New York, newspapers are now usually sold from little stands. So don’t even ask, and save yourself a lot of embarrassment.
Note: Do not call any of these stand newspaper sellers “dirty rotten scabbers”, or threaten to murder them. You could be arrested.
11. It’s good to know about child labor disputes from the turn-of-the-century. Bad to say you learned it all from watching Newsies.
12. When you are terribly bored, recite the script in your head. See if you can make it through the entire film.
Note: If you must recite aloud, it’s probably best to do this in a private place.
13. If your parents ask where you would like to go on vacation, do not say Santa Fe, New Mexico. You have to first consider that Western Jim won’t be there.
14. Know that they will never make a Newsies sequel. Accept that. The actors are all grown up now, or passed away. Note: Yes, those boys in the movie are actors. You will have to accept that too.
15. It’s okay to forget a line from King of New York every once in a while. You are only human. It happens. Just go watch the movie again, and all will quickly be well for you.
16. If you get your picture in the paper, don’t automatically assume you are famous, or can now get anything you desire. That’s not the way it works.
17. It’s not a sin for others to forget a line from King of New York. Do not have a hissy fit. After all, you sometimes do it too.
18. Come to terms with the fact you cannot own any of the newsboys. Go on eBay and buy the movie. If you already have the movie, buy some merchandise.
19. If you’re just not getting the fix you used to from the movie, buy the soundtrack. You’ll be dancing again in no time.
20. When you spy someone around you reading a newspaper, do not try to shove him aside and demand to know where your name or picture is. More than likely it is not there.
21. Do not buy an extra DVD as a backup in case something happens to the first. One is enough, I assure you.
22. It’s okay to faint during the infamous pelvic thrust in the song Carryin’ the Banner. It’s happened to many others before you, so take comfort in the fact you are not alone.
Note: This also applies to the infamous ‘Hair-in-Face-Spot Gate-Opening scene, Jack and Sara Make-Out Session scene, and the ‘Nevah Feah, Brooklyn Is Heah’ scene.
23. When in an overwhelming fight, don’t count on any gang, particularly those of Brooklyn, hopping in to save you.
24. When awoken in the mornings by a loved one, do not follow Jack’s example and slap them and call them ‘mad’. They will not laugh.
25. When in a store of any kind, and a person asks how they may help you, try to refrain from telling them “Don’t rush me, I’m prusing the moichendise.” You might be considered rude. They are not trying to get you out of their way so they might serve their next costumer. They just want to offer you assistance.
26. And finally… If a friend asks you for advice, do not refer him/her to this list unless he/she is indeed, a Newsies fan at the end of their rope with today’s un-Newsies-friendly culture.